Does the anger ever go after long term child abuse?

Hello. My name is Basil Simonenko. I was ually abused by two professional males from the age of 5 yrs through to 19yrs. My abusers were a solicitor and an accountant who were a gay couple living together in a lavish lifestyle. I was an only child living with my mother in a slum. I was soooo well groomed that I actually believed I was lucky to be allowed into this wealthy lifestyle if I just did them these little favours. My mothers trust was totally abused because the main one " Uncle Paul" appeared to be supporting her by being a male role model in my life. They fed me money for cigarettes when my mother asked them to help me quit because I was stealing money. My mother wasn't very smart and so it all went under her radar. My whole childhood was spent arguing constantly with my mother because I had no respect for her due to the constant negative observations given to me by these men. To me my mother was stupid and didn't know me. But they did. My mother is dead now and I can not get this back. This enrages me beyond belief. I am presently attempting a civil case against hate remaining live paedophile who is certainly not making my life easy. I failed to bring a criminal prosecution due to a poor police investigation and a crown prosecution service frightened of expense. I honestly feel like dropping this whole damned legal process and doing personal revenge instead. But I know that's wrong. Isn't it? My question is, does the anger ever go?