I feel so alone but want to be left alone. It doesn't make sense and I need some help?

I'm sorry about ur loss. It will take u some time to heal emotionally. It's ok to cry as well. It is very normal to be depressed after having a baby (I was had to be put on meds). Dont express ur milk- it will just make more and they will hurt worse. U can put cabbage leaves in ur bra to help out. I lived in a sports bra for about 3 weeks to help with the swelling/pain.